Idol Hands.

Wow. I can't believe it. The week I've been dreading is most is officially the best week of the Top 12 so far. Yeah, that's right. Country Week on American Idol was AMAZING. It seems almost blasphemous to type such a statement, but lo and behold, this night featured some fantastic performances (and one dud to outdo all duds).


Martina McBride was the mentor for this night and a great one at that. I think she really helped most of the contestants find their country voice, even if some didn't take her advice fully at heart. Still, she elicited what she could and did a terrific job. She was without a doubt a breath of fresh air after last week's deplorable work and less-than-inspiring coaching. Martina also rocked her performance...but who really cares about anyone but the Idols. Here is the order of performances, in addition to the songs each contestant sang:

01. Phil Stacey: "Where The Blacktop Ends" - A
02. Jordin Sparks: "Broken Wing" - A+
03. Sanjaya Malakar: "Something To Talk About" - D-
04. LaKisha Jones: "Jesus, Take The Wheel" - C
05. Chris Richardson: "Mayberry" - C+
06. Melinda Doolittle: "Trouble Is A Woman" - A+
07. Blake Lewis: "(When The Stars Go) Blue" - B


And now, to the performances! Two of my favorite contestants, Melinda and Jordin, blew me away with outstanding renditions tonight. Jordin worries me, because she might actually win over my dominant favorite, Melinda, BUT this was easily her best performance and one of the best of this entire season. She really made the mentor herself proud. Then again, Melinda was extraordinary! I am in awe at how awesome she was tonight. It seems funny, but she was actually the sexiest and most energetic performance of the entire night. Congratulations to you, Mindy-Doo, proving you can do almost anything.


I am also really happy that Phil had a chance to shine. Though at times he was a little stiff, he is clearly a country singer. He was magnificent tonight and belonged to the better half of the night's vocals. Great work from this man. And even more amazing, he managed to crack the TOP 3 as opposed to the Bottom 3. Good work, Philabusters!


As for the others, they were all decent (well, 3/4 of them anyway). Blake was adorable, even though his performance was nothing to rave about. It was solid, but one would hope for a little more energy I suppose. He was the line by which I can separate the commendable and the lamentable. Well, perhaps that's a bit too strong for Chris. His rendition was underwhelming, but still adequate nonetheless. He took a heap of criticism tonight though, and seemed on the verge of tears. I wish I was there to hug him. Meanwhile, LaKisha received even harsher comments, but with some justification. It was an average perfomance, one in which you knew her vocal abilities but failed to connect with her due to her "shouting".


The dud, however, clearly came from Sanjaya, who was indubitably the worst of the night. There is absolutely no way to argue against it this time. This molotov cocktail of a performance was a more excrutiating karaoke rendition than Cameron Diaz in My Best Friend's Wedding. And don't even get me started on the horrendous maid-from-the-slums look he was sporting tonight. (Randy Jackson actually called him intelligent...gag.) But I thank him for sucking with such intensity last night. He inspired me to vote for Every. Single. Contestant. BUT. HIM. And whaddya know...?


Before the results came, there was a brief public conference to illuminate the true motivation for Simon Cowell's eye-rolling at Chris's shout-out to the Virginia Tech victims (he's a VA native). I assumed Simon was scoffing at what he felt was a blatant attempt for pity votes. But it turns out Paula Abdul was trying to defend Chris's nasal-singing, which Simon had chastised, and just had an apparently ill-timed bitch moment. That soon segued into the results, where they were split into two groups of three (Phil, Jordin, Chris & Blake, LaKisha, Sanjaya). Melinda was asked to choose which group she belonged to (which was the Top, naturally), but she wisely refused and sat down in the dead center of the stage. She also received applause for doing so. That left Ryan Seacrest to do his own job, so he sent Melinda, Jordin, Chris, and Phil back to their seats and rightly so, leaving audiences shocked that Blake was actually in the Bottom. (That will certainly rally fans.) Fortunately, he was the top of the bottom (again, sexy images), leaving it between LaKisha and Sanjaya. As I stared at the screen, I wondered "Could the moment we've all been waiting for FINALLY have arrived?!" I naturally was nervously anticipating a LaKisha-ejection shocker, but alas...she was safe. SANJAYA IS GONE! And NOW I finally feel empathy for him. But it was his time. Even the VFTW and Fanjayas had to admit he was the worst and he had to go. And so it was, the end of an era that will forever live on in infamy.