With A Donation In My Heart.

American Idol decided to do something monumental this year, in an effort to both help impoverished nations (African slums and our own backwoods) have more food and medicine and garner behemoth ratings. It's called Idol Gives Back. A bevy of celebrities donated cash and made useless guest appearances, because big stars always tug at even the most stoic and close-minded denizens' heartstrings. But all in all, it wasn't a complete borefest. There were even some delightful moments for you fellow Oscarnerds.


Ryan Seacrest and Ellen DeGeneres simultaneously hosted events at two separate locations. Ryan was, naturally, with the contestants, while Ellen was over at The Disney Music Hall, where many performers were singing live. Numerous celebrities paid a visit, including my second favorite moment of the night: the "Stayin' Alive" dance-off. Recent Oscar winners and nominees were there, including Helen Mirren, Forest Whitaker, and Keira Knightley (because Brits have bigger hearts). Speaking of Brits, Hugh Laurie was probably contractually obligated by FOX to appear, but I was ecstatic to see his face. Ah, but I'm running off on a tangent here. What about the performances of the contestants themselves?

01. Chris Richardson: "Change The World" - A
02. Melinda Doolittle: "There Will Come A Day" - A
03. Blake Lewis: "Imagine" - B+
04. LaKisha Jones: "I Believe" - C-
05. Phil Stacey: "The Change" - C
06. Jordin Sparks: "You'll Never Walk Alone" - B


So the theme for tonight was "Songs of Inspiration". And I started out impressed. After being criticized for his nasal harmonies last week, he received a boost of confidence from the judges this time around. I was thrilled, because he deserved it. He started out the show magnificently and proved that even with his nasally tone, he can masterfully work a song and make us believe it. And Melinda, who was unfairly given the second spot (not to mention how Chris should've gotten the "Pimp Spot"), delivered a moving and brilliant rendition to more praise. Simon Cowell is extremely devoted to Melinda, and I hope that's a positive thing. It seemed like the night might've been a success--even with Blake's slightly lacsadaisical performance, which I still liked anyway. He had a difficult song to pull off, since it is John Lennon's classic, and there wasn't much innovation he could really infuse. But still, he was commendable for keeping with the spirit of the original.


Meanwhile, the Pimp Spot was reserved for their stock "let's put a spin in this competition and give it some juice" performer, Jordin. Now, I really like her. She's got a great personality and is not cocky or full of herself in any way. She knows she has juggernaut vocals and utilizes them to full effect. However, I hate how AI tries to spice up the competition around this time each year. And I'm sorry, but Jordin nearly butchered her song. She commenced too strongly, with vocals too intense for the lyrics she had. She "shouted" MORE than LaKisha ever had. She lacked any subtlety whatsoever. And to top it all off, she ended with a completely over-the-top crescendo that was utterly inappropriate for her tune. All in all, points for the power, deductions for the ear-aching delivery. Randy Jackson actually noted that this was one of the best vocals ever on AI. Hey, news flash. You were in Journey. Give me a break.


However, she was still a couple notches above Phil and LaKisha. Phil was decent, but easily overshadowed this week. And I agree with Paula Abdul, that the lack of country twang in his voice was slightly detrimental to the song. But it was still okay. He didn't get harsh criticisms, just average feedback. I'd say that LaKisha took the worst beating of the night. This is the second consecutive week where she has used a previous Idol winner's single as her song choice (Carrie Underwood and Fantasia Barrino, respectively). Yes, she has amazing vocals. Yes, she did "shout" the lyrics. Yes, overall, it wasn't tremendously impressive. Frankly, I am on Melinda's page regarding the competition though--I want them all to win!


But apparently, someone HAD to go this week...or did they? It was Charity Week, after all. Could they really be so cruel? Cruel enough to put us through two hours before we got to the final results, that's for sure. Immediately during the second half-hour of the first hour, Ryan announces that Melinda is safe. Shortly towards the end of this particular hour, Ryan lets Blake know he's safe too. A little while after that, Phil gets some comfort in knowing he's safe. Soon following was relief to LaKisha's ears, in knowing she's safe. Then, we come to the final ten minutes. Chris and Jordin stand up. Chris has a microphone in his hand. I'm worried. Ryan says "Chris,...you are safe." A huge sigh of relief trickles through my body. The audience seems concurrently happy and confused. Then, Ryan says "Jordin,...you are also safe. We can't kick anyone off on CHARITY WEEK!" A massive wave of cheers and applause engulfs the theater. I am appalled, yet thrilled. Although next week, TWO contestants will be eliminated, when the votes from this week rollover into next. I found that part a little disgusting. Couldn't they just have said "We used you to garner money for Idol Gives Back"?! Thank you, American Cocktease.